Aderimigbe mi, Akanni. bi oruko e she wi la she ba. Our meeting indeed forth brought gifts. The gift of hope, of finding everything you have ever searched for in a person, the comfort of home in a person; the gift of love. I thought you felt the same way too, and I could have beat my chest that Akanni, the love of my entire life felt the same way as well.
Oh, you did?
But it doesn’t feel that way anymore. It certainly didn’t when I saw you shove your tongue down Morenikeji’s throat two weeks ago. You took all the gifts your brought into my life and returned it to alajobi. Or should I say that you distributed it between Darafunmi, Abeke, Chinyere, Binta. Remind me, what’s the name of the skinny one that I thought would break in your arms; Laura! Yes, yes, Laura, and finally, Morenikeji that made your eyes glimmer. Morenikeji with the afro I might have envied.
What happened to us, oko mi? When did what was once ours and ours alone become something for you to share the way people share food at Sabo? You turned your love and attention, something you promised was mine and mine alone to a thing of charity. Ha, sho da be?
Why do you look so surprised? Did you really think you will start seeing other women and I wouldn’t know? It started with Channel No 5. You always came back reeking of that fragrance that obviously wasn’t mine, and clearly not the Prada you always wear. But I let it go.
I let more and more go after that. I was still the one you came back home to. I was still the one you shared a bed with at night and kissed good night. I was still the one that made your eyes come alive. At the end of it all, I was still your home.
So I forgave that first time; and the second time. And several times after that because when it came down to it, you were still mine.
I forgave you when I saw you that night at that place in Bodija with one of your hoes- you don’t like the food there anyway.
I forgave you when you went on that OmoIbadan tour with your “Secretary”. Isn’t that what you called her that day you called to tell me about it? I forgave you- we already did a tour of Ibadan together.
I forgave you for all those other silly excuses you made to be with those other women. I forgave you because I could tell that they didn’t matter, not enough for you to make an effort.
But you didn’t come back home one night, that’s when I knew the tides had turned and something had changed.
I watched you with Morenikeji with the afro and I knew I was about to take second place in your life and I would rather the world came to an end, and life as we know it ends before I watch that happen. Over my dead body!
You took her to all our favorite spots, Akanni. Do you not have any regard for my feelings? Even then, I still gave you some room; room to come back to me.
It was hard, very hard, but I smiled at you after you returned from Amala skye that evening and said you didn’t want any dinner because you ate at a late business lunch. That place is our spot, and you took someone else there. It was hard, but I forgave you.
The last straw was when I followed you after you came out of the cinema at Dugbe and you took a walk from the mall through Old Leventis road. You know that’s my favourite place in Ibadan, and walking down that street after an evening movie was our thing, but you did it with Morenikeji. I even heard you tell her that thing I told you about how walking down that street made you think about the colonial eras and early post colonial eras and the stories of all those that worked in those old buildings.If they had the kind of problems we have now. If they were happier than we are now. 7
When I told you, you said you were happy with me and Morenikeji said the same thing to you.
How dare you? How dare you? If you even want to shatter my heart into tiny bits, couldn’t you have done it in another way? You just had to use all the things I have a strong emotional attachment with to hurt me.
I’m sorry, but I can’t let this slide, Akanni mi. The gifts from our meeting have turned to a bitter, miserable thing and I cannot continue to forgive you.
You’re struggling? Why are you struggling? You know how strong my knots are. You are not getting out of this, and nobody is coming to save you.